We’ve all got the sniffles here in House of the Weird. Chance is down for the count. Me and Keen have been battling it with the
help of lots of lovely drugs. I was
going to be extra brave and attempt a Concentrated Effort at Potty Training
this long weekend. However, I suspect
that might be potentially traumatizing to do to a kid when they have a fever.

Cue: big booming voices, delirium enhanced lights

“CHANCE!… pee in the potty Chance!… want an M&M*?… big
boys POOP!… CHA-A-A-A-NCE!”

(*M&Ms are our potty bribe of choice. KitKats will be used as the big guns.)

True story: When I
was about seven I had the flu with a fever so bad I started hallucinating. At one point I saw three images of my mom,
all standing in a row by my bed, doing that wavy body distortion thing they
used to do in the Pepto-Bismol commercials in the 70s. And all the while those
three moms are asking me (in scary hallucino-talk), “What’s wrong honey? What’s WRONG?” That pink shit used to make me feel ill for a
loooong time.

I can’t do that to my son. M&Ms should be an important part of every kid’s life. I mean, besides the fact that the training
would probably be an utter failure.

(Though I am kind of hoping he feels well enough soon to at
least start the potty training this

On another note I’ve still got a couple of commenter
inspired posts
to finish. The following
baby was from Fuzz; he suggested a
chick version of Budweiser’s Real Men of Genius commercials. I was having some difficulties
early on but then I saw this…



The Real Woman of Genius would also have added plexi-glass
divisions to separate the children, some sort of electro-magnetic, sound
muffling field, and a password-protected alarm system (for security) to access
the cart. Maybe even a pellet treat
dispenser for the children to nibble on while you’re oh so blissfully trying on
clothes in the dressing room. Ah…

Here’s to you Ms. Inventor of the Most Perfect Shopping Cart
Ever! *sniff* (It’s so beautiful!)

And for those keeping track… an update! Month one of the Great
KnockUp Project
was a no go.  🙁  Embarking
onto month two!

the weirdgirl