OK, the busy-ness of the season and some work projects are fucking with my ability to blog properly. Apologies. I’m sure the brain power will return soon. Rest assured that in the back of my brain, deep thoughts are a-percolating. I can feel them. But until they brew themselves into a brainy version of hot, caffeinated goodness, here’s another thought I’d like to leave you with:
Jack Nicklaus = Santa Claus
Now you may scoff, but I have thought long and hard and worked out all the angles of this quagmire of deception! Consider the following.
Fact number one: All pro golf tours END before winter! Hmmm, just in time for the REAL season.
Fact number two: Let’s examine the name… Jack Frost… Old St. Nick… Santa Claus… they all conveniently merge into “Jack Nicklaus”.
Fact number three: The golfer seems jolly more often than not.
Fact number four: Hauling a golf bag, hauling a sack full of toys… can we say “pre-season training”?
Fact number five: What else is he supposed to do all year long? Make toys? What’s the point in having a cheap, workforce on site if you’re gonna get your hands dirty?
All are these things coincidence? I think not. OK, they’re not really “facts” but I think this is some pretty damning evidence. And finally…
You can see it, can’t you?
– the weirdgirl
Um…no…I don’t see it. At first glance, I thought you write “Jack Nicholson.” Now that would be one messed up St. Nick.
crap weirdgirl, you’re shooting all to hell that santa’s alter ego is klaus kinski: http://www.verticalpool.com/media/kinski.jpg.
Compelling… but I fear that you haven’t even scratched the surface. I don’t think anyone has any idea how deep this rabbit hole goes. I tell you, this Santa Claus is like an onion: The more layers you peel off, the more you wish you had a vat of batter and a deep fryer. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but it can only add to the Kringle mystique.
Well, doesn’t Santa have a big club!