Lately I’ve been feeling rebellion stirring deep in my soul. It rears its ugly head at strange times, prodding me towards revolution. It’s so ridiculous because it’s not as if I’m rebelling against some imposed new order. I’ve actually been doing something similar to what I’m rebelling against all along (did that make sense?). I even know I’m being a hypocrite about the whole thing. But I still can’t quell the rebellion. I’m talking about “mom clothes”.
Previous to being a mom, I did not feel that some of the items in my closet were “mom clothes” but now… now they kind of feel that way (to me the fashion judas). My day-to-day pre-baby clothing tended to be variations of wash and wear knit tops and jeans. (OK, I do wear more heels than some.) I was very comfortable in this attire, they felt good and they looked good. Now I get hit with these strange rebellious streaks… some days I feel a strong urge to wear a satin bustier top for no particular reason. Other days I feel a compelling drive to buy white sailor pants. (Crazy woman!) Suddenly my clothes, the clothes that I’ve HAD and loved, seem boring and practical.
It started when I needed to go out and buy athletic shoes. It hurt (a little), but I bought the shoes. I also bought a pair of round-toed, lace-up, stacked pumps at the same time (oh, so CUTE!). Then I noticed that the other moms were wearing track pants and hoodies, whereas I’ve been in jeans and sweaters. Their choice of outfits made sense to me because we would all get hot on our walks (the whole two I’ve gone on) and you could strip off layers. I started eyeing hoodies… but only the ones with skulls on them. (Which, by the way, are not found in the usual places that you buy athletic clothing. However, I blame the skull obsession fully on all the nouveau mod kids who are wearing stuff that looks just like the stuff I used to wear in high school and makes me wander into the rock clothing stores. I can’t help I get nostalgic.) The track pants… OK, I don’t think I’ll be able to wear those. But see? I’ve been making some mutinous purchasing decisions, because no matter how cute either of them are, I just don’t think the pink round-toed pumps and the black skull hoodie are going to go together. (Because even with a studded belt to tie it in, black and pink are SO done.)
I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. Suddenly I’m too good for my own clothes? I’m still wearing them, I still like them even, but in my heart of hearts I’ve been feeling fickle. I’ve been sneaking peaks at the other garments out there, the “non-mom” garments (whatever those are). I know this is purely psychological. (And it’s not like I’m judging what the other moms are wearing, because some of them look damn cute.) I think I’m at the point where I’m having a conflict between my “mom” role and my previous self-identity. Only it’s a little late… and it involves clothing. (I never said I was normal.) Maybe this is coming up because on the few occasions I get to leave the house I like to look nice? Maybe it’s because I just can’t wear suede without getting baby glop on it. Maybe I’m just sick of winter. I don’t know. I just know I’m feeling antsy and disobedient and I don’t want to wear my mom clothes (previous sweat comment aside).
So how do I get through this period without wiping out my bank account? And it will pass, won’t it? – the weirdgirl