You know what I hate about getting old? Or one of the many things? Bruising. I didn’t use to bruise easy. But now? I swear my child pokes me with a plush toy and I bruise like a stripper who’s profit margins are dropping.

Anywho, here I am on the beach tanning like only a bruised up stripper can when my boy comes running up yelling about “this cool bug”. He’s holding a fucking black wasp in his hands!! Maybe even a horse fly! Whatever it was it flew off before I could properly freak out. Without stinging.

And that’s vacation with my kid.

Posted inadequately from my iPhone.