On the evening news, the Anchorwoman reports…
A man was assaulted at a local coffee shop earlier today. Though many details are still unclear, initial reports indicate that an argument broke out between a man and a woman with a baby in the seating area, shortly followed by the assault. When police arrived on the scene they found a middle-aged man beaten to unconsciousness and dripping wet. Witnesses had varying stories as to who or what provoked the attack, but they all agreed on one point… the liquid covering the man was breastmilk.
Cut to witness interview one
Elderly Man: “It’s a disgrace! Just a crying shame, the world today! You can’t even go for a bite to eat without seeing something like that? It makes you afraid to leave your house!”
Witness interview two
Latte-drinking Female: “I don’t know what the man was thinking, messing with that poor woman. You know, when a baby’s got to eat, a baby’s got to eat.”
Reporter: “So you’re saying the man provoked the attack?”
Latte-drinking Female: “Hell, YES! She was just sitting there minding her own business and that man was harassing her. I’ll tell you one thing… that woman has some mad skills. You know, she beat that man with the one while she kept the baby feeding from the other one the WHOLE TIME!”
Witness interview three
Reporter: Excuse me, did you see what happened?
Twenty-something Male: “I don’t know, man, I was standing in line and suddenly I heard someone shout ‘I’ll show you indecent!’ and duuuude… I gotta come here for coffee more often!”
Cut back to Anchorwoman:
The woman apparently fled the scene immediately after the attack. Police are encouraging anyone with information to come forward as they continue to piece together the details of the assault. Various sketches of the woman in question have proven too graphic for release. As for the woman’s baby… witnesses say she looked healthy and well-fed.
In other news, a new website has been climbing search engine ranking lists in record time! The site, dom-to-mom.com, has gained a huge online following…
I had to start with this one. Great suggestions so far, more to come! – wg
I just checked the domain registry at GoDaddy.com and dom-to-mom.com is indeed available if anyone is interested …
Very funny. I like “I’ll show you indecent!”
I actually sat out in the middle of the state fair on a bench nursing my daughter last month. Could I have been more public?
I guess I’m not very obvious though, because when I was nursing at the car dealership the other day, the salesman walked right up to see the baby, until he got real close and figured it out. He turned red real quick.
Loved it!!!!!!!!!! Made my Day! Gonna wear some splash guards the next time I go get coffee tho. No telling what coffe house she’s going to show up in next! Scarey! ROFLMAO
Hilarious! I’m not supposed to be laughing at work. Good thing the boss isn’t in today, huh?
As long as the milk had no lumps, it would be all good.
Hi there!
We would like to invite you to showcase your blog articles to millions of internet-surfing mums through the Surfingmama Blog Carnival. Make a difference for mums all over the world. Surfingmama focuses only on stuff that matters. For mums. Submit to us practical, useful & informative articles that mums need to make informed choices. Topics include childcare, preschool, child-education, child-safety, pregnancy, child-health, special-needs, breastfeeding, mothers-health, childbirth, getting-pregnant, and even humor! Submit your article now to make it for the upcoming edition scheduled on 25 Sept 2006 at:
http://blogcarnival.com/bc/cprof_506.html
Good for her! What was that man thinking, since “decent” and “natural” are often synonymous? What could be more natural than a woman breastfeeding?