The baby went in for a check-up recently. I mentioned it casually at the Mommy corner while the other mommies were trying to give me the brush off. One of them had made a comment about his red cheeks and asked if he was getting sick because “I certainly didn’t want to get the other children sick, did I?” Oh no, I replied, he just saw the doctor and he’s fine. A little baby eczema is all. Well, that was a big mistake. The other mommies were all over me like Juicy Couture on a Hilton.
“How are his percentiles? Is he keeping up? I haven’t noticed any growth spurts lately.”
“My daughter is in the 85th percentile for growth. The doctor is amazed.”
“Well, mine had a 30% jump between his second and third visits. My sister said that when they have jumps in growth they also have jumps in development. It’s probably a sign of an advanced IQ, you know.”
“And of course, breastfeeding makes them smarter. Too bad, you stopped.”
“So were his numbers a little low? I’m sure he’ll catch up… sometime.”
I was flabbergasted. Was I supposed to be writing those stats down? The pediatrician keeps it all on file and everything has been normal so it never occurred to me that I should be keeping a chart at home, too. His first two teeth had just broke through; and honestly, I was less interested in his growth percentile than helping with the pain.
I stammered, “Well, mainly we talked about teething. He’s started a little early and…”
The mommies gave a collective gasp. Next thing I know they were stalking off. I suppose next time I should bring his chart? Or did they think teething at 5 months is catching?
They are so confusing, sometimes.