Episode 7

The other mommies were discussing cleaning products at the Mommy corner today.  (I had been hovering around determinedly a few minutes when they finally let me join in.)  I’ve been informed that I should only use green cleaning products around the baby.  The non-green chemical products are incredibly dangerous; especially Mop & Glo.  Mop & Glo is a killer!  What with the babies licking the floor and all.  I have actually seen the baby lick the floor a few times now, so I don’t doubt the concern.  The bottle preparation area should especially be free of chemical contaminants (this last was said a bit snidely – they all know I’m not breastfeeding).

But the conversation continued… on the flip side, it is absolutely crucial to sterilize everything several times over for the health of the baby.  Exposure to germs OR germ-killing chemicals is very, very bad.

I was so desperate for mommy company I didn’t want to point out the slight discrepancy here.  Then the mommies asked me what I used for cleaning; I did use green products, didn’t I?

Oh shit, I thought.

“Of course,” I said, beaming my lying face at their smirking ones.  “I’ve always used green.”

The truth is I don’t know what’s used on the floor, or in the house for that matter.  I have a cleaning service for that.  I’m simply happy that someone else has wiped up the formula and juice droplets as I run around after the baby.  Sometimes, I don’t even sterilize his new toys when I take them out of the wrapper.  I just rinse them off in warm water and let him go to town.  I do swiffer the floor in between cleanings and wipe things down with baby wipes, but I hardly think the mommies would consider that sanitary.  (They don’t need to know.)

I felt bad but I consoled myself with the vision of my darling boy in the cutest little outfit – the one I put him in when I should have been sterilizing something.  I do have the sense not to let him crawl on the floor right after it’s been cleaned. 

Now I’ll be up all night wondering if there are Mop & Glo particles out to get him.