It turns out it's harder to grow bacteria than I expected. The instructions on the bacteria growing "kit" (i.e. petri dishes, dry agar, and a one page instruction sheet) said to "put the petri dishes in a warm, dark place" and that within 24-48 hours you would see stuff growing. But I didnt' see much growing so I did internet research and by "warm" they're talking ideally around 100 degrees, but NOT on a heating unit or in a draft. Um, I've got these in a closet in a shoebox. How the hell am I supposed to get that closet to 100 degrees? So I crank up the regular heater, then yank out a ground heater and proceed to try to heat up the room the closet is attached to. I think I got it pretty toasty but not to a 100. Then Keen made me turn off the house heater. Not that I blame him. The kicker is a week and a half ago we had an unseasonal heatwave. But that was then, wg, you optimistic fool. I start brainstorming other warm places that maybe could kickstart the germs growing and I came up with… my car! So I throw the shoebox and a sweater over it into my car, along with a meat thermometer so I can track the temperature (because that's scientifically accurate) and leave it there for the day. I mean, it's not strange at all to be driving around with petri dishes full of spit, right? There was something about not disturbing the dishes and blah blah blah but whatever. I'm not trusting that one-page instruction sheet at this point.
On top of that we also have a chrysalis to take care of from Chance's other science class (this is an outside camp). I was supposed to be spritzing it with water so the wings don't deform but I kind of lost track of that in the frenzy of growing spit germs. Oops. At this rate, maybe I can throw some bacteria onto the chrysalis, grow a giant mutant butterfly and call it a day. I'm sure everyone will be in awe of our scientific prowess.
Doofenschmirtz, eat your heart out.