It is really hot out here right now. But I know that other people are suffering even more than our 100° heat (today, 102° yesterday), so I’m not going to bitch. I mean, it’s not like it doesn’t get hot here every frickin’ summer. (I don’t get people who still act surprised at the weather. It’s like, hello, have you lived here for any length of time? And you gotta like the heat a little to live out here in the first place, right? And it’s always the same people who are surprised that their house got flooded during the rainy season, when they’ve built next to a creek. Seriously, folks, watch the local news sometime.)
I digress. It got so hot here today that all our multiple fans and the one window AC unit (in the baby’s room) couldn’t keep us quite cool enough… and me and Keen went completely trailer trash. There was Keen on the couch with no shirt on and a spray bottle for “spritzing”. And then there was me. I was wearing a one piece romper left over from high school. I had originally bought it at a craft store and tie-dyed it myself; picture it as baggy, tank/shorts overalls… from the 80s… in tie-dye. So, OK, yes it’s totally old (like, oh my god) but it’s really loose and airy and let’s me get away with wearing just a sports bra and undies underneath. None of those clingy “layering” tees or any of the stuff they’re selling right now. Anyway. It got so hot I actually rolled down the overalls so they bagged around my waist, and held them in place with a hair clip, so my underwear wouldn’t show (too much). Then I walked around the house in my sports bra and baggy-butt overalls. How much more cholla could I get? All I needed was a cracked jelly jar and wine-in-a-box and it would just be like my childhood summers all over again.
By the time we gave up and escaped to Target to cool down (is there anything more pathetic than wandering around Target, nursing a mango smoothie, to avoid your own house? and yes, we got dressed before we went) I was congratulating myself that at least I had kept Chance from going ghetto. I might slip down that slope but I wouldn’t let him go. He, with the only AC and having had a nice leisurely nap in a cool room, was wearing an actual outfit consisting of a matching t-shirt, shorts, and sandals.
And then I saw it.
A baby… about nine to ten months old sitting in a Target cart… no shirt on, no shoes… gnawing on a full-size Snickers bar that was clutched in his mitts while his mom shopped.
Wow. I try not to judge. Truly. But that’s pretty bad. I know it’s hot, I know kids are cranky, but giving a baby a candy bar?
I’ll be having nightmares about babies choking on peanuts all night.
– the weirdgirl