I seem to have lost my funny again. I.e. I’ve been reading plenty of funny stuff,
and I’d love to contribute to the world of humor but I can’t get any to come
out of me.  I am in fear of this blog
becoming dreary.  Seriously, it’s keeping me up at night.  So… time to make fun of tidbits of pop
culture in a random and meaningless list. 

Things I hate:

1. The Doodlebops –
This should go without saying, but on deeper reflection I also think they’re an
insidious gateway show to buying Hannah Montana and other Disney pop ilk.  Even accidentally watching the Doodlebops makes me feel dirty and used.  (That Disney… such the evil pusher!)

2. Handling so much
poop (damn potty training!) that I might
start to buy into the idea that feces
are beneficial – I am never going to pay a couple hundred dollars
for someone to fling bird shit at my face!  NEVER!  (However, the skin on my
hands does seem to be smoother.  *whimper*)

3. On a related note,
bull semen
– Not to be disgusting or anything, but if semen really worked
my pubes should be smooth as silk.

4. The people in
coffee shops – OK, let me clarify this… the baristas are always really nice and down to earth. The people in line?  Oh my god, some of them have serious
entitlement issues!  If you’re ever
feeling your life is lacking in a little attitude, just step into a
Starbucks.  People… regardless of what
you’ve seen on TV, it’s just a drink not a fucking life statement.  (“Don’t you know?!  This latte is validating my whole existence! How DARE you skimp on the foam!!  Stella!  STEL-LA!”)Hometown_hottie

5. The fact that
Maxim NEVER has any redheads in their winning Hometown Hotties lineup – I am
personally offended by this and think there might be some hairism in play.  Not to mention that the
Hometown Hotties always… look… the same!  Blondes or brunettes, similar facial features.  Primarily white, with maybe a Latina thrown in for
flavor.  That’s your idea of diversity,
Maxim?  How about a fierce Asian or
African-American gal?  How about a hot
punk chick?  Keen and I have been loyal
readers for years, but we’ve recently decided to end our subscription.  Too much same old, same old.  And no redheads.  This is just wrong.  (So guys, any suggestions? Keen needs a new men’s lifestyle magazine.)

6. Wearing clean
socks and stepping into spilled milk, juice, or other child drippings – Pet peeve!  It just
makes me contemplate the money we spend to be educated when in truth we will
all be felled low by child drippings. 

So what things are you hating lately?             – wg