One fine Saturday morning…

Chance & Keen:  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Me:  Wheeze, croak, wheeze! (Meant to say “thank you!”)

Me:  Voice?! Hey, voice? What gives, man?

Voice:  Yeah, I been thinking. It’s my birthday today, too.

Me:  Yeah?

Voice:  And I’m sick of being hauled around in that ailing body of yours. I’m taking some time off.

Me:  Excuse me?

Voice:  You heard me. Oh, wait… you can’t hear me! Bwaaa ha!

Me:  I don’t understand… Didn’t we have a great dinner last night? Nice wine, nice people. We have a fun day planned today…

Voice:  Whatever. You go off and have tea with your little girlfriends. Walk around the gardens with your pinkies in the air. I got things to do.

Me:  Things? Besides BE MY VOICE?

Voice:  Yeah, life is short and I got a bucket list.

Me (snorting):  A bucket list?! Like what?!

Voice:  Oh you scoff, prissy? First: get into voice-over work. I’ve got my sites on Robot Chicken. Second: sing for a rock band.

Me:  You can’t sing.

Voice:  Shut up. You don’t know. Third: become the confidante of rock bands.

Me:  *cough groupie cough*!

Voice:  Fourth: scream from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Fifth: scare the shit out of Bush. Sixth: book on tape of my memoirs… well, everything except your bits.

Me:  OK, where are you going with this?

Voice:  Isn’t it obvious? I’ve got the chance to be the voice of a generation and you’ve been holding me back.

Me:  Oh my god…

Voice:  So I’m getting on this before we’re 40.

Me:  You know, we’ve had a pretty good life…

Voice:  Whatever. You have fun today, goody goody; let’s see how far you get chatting it up without me. I’m out.


Me:  Man, my voice is a bitch!

P.S. Today I am 38, and it will be enjoyed with or without any abandoning cast members.  Besides, my memory bailed on me ages ago and I'm doing just fine!            
                  – the weirdgirl