We are having another heat wave. I never understood that term… "heat WAVE". A wave is cool and refreshing and what we're experiencing weather-wise is decidedly not. How about heat blanket, heat steamroller, heat "wow, I didn't know I could sweat there" crashing epiphany.
Did I mention that we have no AC?
Whenever it gets above a certain temperature my online time goes down. The reasons for this are 1) my upstairs office is an oven, and 2) my laptop is a lap-burning minion of hell. I'm trying to catch up, though. Through a combination of having cramps, catching and crunching my toe on a rug so bad the top half of my foot is bruised (btw, does a sprain throb or have a shooting pain? I always forget), and hearing that the weather is supposed to cool down I figure today is a good day to sit on my ass in front of the computer.
(While I was still lying in bed I had originally planned to steam clean Chance's carpet and do some gardening… and then I stood up. You ever do that? Like totally forget you hurt something because there's so pressure on it? Silly invalid!)
Speaking of heat in bed!
Please stop molesting my pillows. At the end of the day when I am anticipating the sweet comfort of sleep I do not like to plant my face into a pillow that is sopping wet. Moving them back to my side of the bed and turning them over does not disguise your activity. Your half-asleep, mumbled excuse that you "just washed your face" only adds insult to injury. Did you know that one of the distinguishing characteristics between water and sweat is the smell? Keen, I love you dearly, but your sweaty man stench? Not so much.
I know this is not entirely your fault because you, like many men, do not realize that you sweat in quantities fit to float an armada, however you can remedy this situation by simply keeping my pillows out of your zone. If this activity continues I will be forced to wreak vengeance.
Smooches, your loving wife.