Because I’ve been thinking about this a lot, I decided to start a list; both to keep my thoughts in order and, later on, to remind me of where I began. This is, of course, a work in progress. I’m sure I’ll add and change things as I go, but I think I got the basics down of what is important to me. (BTW, I’m referring to children in plural because I do hope to have one more kid down the line.)
My Top Parenting Goals – (maybe I should name it my parenting manifesto)
1. Protect my children at all costs; but understand the difference between protection and suffocation
2. Give them a loving and nurturing environment; strive to keep dysfunction to a minimum
3. Build open lines of communication and trust
4. Teach my kids how to think for themselves and to question everything (even me) because it leads to richer understanding
5. Teach them how to stick up for themselves but know when to ask for help
6. Instill a sense that there are many sides to every story; try to teach them about compassion but also have them understand that there is personal accountability
7. Share the wonder and beauty of the world with them; start as early as possible
8. Be honest about the ugliness and the potential dangers (without scaring them; this will probably come a little later)
9. Be a role model; this includes having a life/career of my own (outside of “mom” but not detrimental to parenting) so I can be a real-life example of someone who is comfortable and happy with themselves
10. Raise nice kids, who are polite (I just can’t abide rudeness)
11. Teach them the value of working hard and to understand the value of money
12. If I see signs that my children are becoming spoiled (i.e. acting entitled for the things they receive) or disrespectful, adjust MY behavior so that this is corrected
I hope, by attempting to achieve all of these things that what will follow are happy, confident, healthy kids who are interested in the world around them. This is my ultimate goal. And as I said, this list is only a beginning.
Anything I’m missing? – the weirdgirl
What a great list! And you only have one child, and he’s less than a year old? You are SO ahead of the game here!
Implementing them is always the challenge, of course, but so many people don’t think it through, so they’re always just making it up as they go along. YOU have a game plan.
I’ve been in the parenting gig for twenty years as of Dec. 7, and I can’t think of a thing to add.
Agreed. Those are great. I might even print that list out.
That’s a great list, and an incredible beginning. Somewhere between the ages of 11-17, though, most parents have only one goal in mind: not strangling your kid.
Hopefully, it won’t come to that.
Thanks, you guys. This list has been in the back of my mind, in one form or another, long before we even started trying to have kids. I just wanted to get my thoughts in order.
Of course, I immediately started thinking about writing “plans of actions” and “things to include” lists. THEN I realized I was trying to structure all this like it was a New Product Launch guide or a specifications doc. Obviously, I’ve spent too much time in the high tech industry. (Though, I guess you COULD consider children as “new products”.) – wg
Hey WG, the only thing I would add to the list is hug and kiss your kid(s) and tell them you love them EVERYDAY. Even when you don’t want to (this will happen trust me – oh wait, you are intimately acquainted with my kids, so YOU KNOW).
I’ve also found that it is very important to say YOU ARE SORRY to your kids when you make a mistake. It allows them to see that you are not perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and that asking forgiveness is a sign of strength NOT a weakness.
What I lack in parenting skills (the list is endless) is softened by how much affection I do lavish on my girls and that I’m not afraid to tell them I’m sorry when I’ve blown it with them.
XXX