Sorry about my freak out yesterday. I was having A Moment. I need to stop reading stuff on the web. It all seems either incredibly basic or worse
case scenario, neither of which are helpful. I’m one of those people who want a little more medical depth than the
average joe (such as, will a temporary hormone surge delay your period? This shouldn’t be that hard of a question)
but I don’t want the end-of-the-world analysis either.
I also really hate some of the terminology used in reference
to women’s health and pregnancy. So much
of it sounds negative and… almost… accusatory. If that makes sense.
The thing is my thyroid condition puts me at a higher risk
for miscarriage. I didn’t know this for
my first pregnancy because I wasn’t even diagnosed with the thyroid issue until
I was four months along. But I think the
knowledge going into it this time is (obviously) coloring my reaction. The truth is I’m more comfortable with the
idea of not conceiving or the egg not embedding early but still getting a regular period than miscarrying a week
or two after my period. I’m especially afraid
of multiple successive miscarriages. Like, every month feeling briefly like I’ve gotten pregnant and then
losing it. Because you do have these
hormonal surges where something feels
different and then it stops or you get a wonky period (with more hormones) or
you just feel sort of crappy but you can’t tell if it’s the flu or something
else. And you feel a little crazy for
feeling bad… as if it’s all in your head.
The problem with being a chick, even those of us who feel
like we’re pretty even-keeled, is that your hormones do affect you emotionally. And
then your heart and your head affect you emotionally. And sometimes you can’t reconcile the two (or
three, whatever). Usually the head can balance out the hormones, or at least
temper their influence. And sometimes you
just get caught in a crossfire / spin cycle / tornado slam of emotional hell
between the two.
We are, after all, trying to have a baby here. And no matter how “easy” it seems for some
couples than others, it’s still not an easy thing.
And an update… as of this morning my period still had not
started (I usually start in the morning), but by this afternoon I started
cramping and spotting. We’ll just see
how things go.
Thanks for being there, my Internet friends.
– wg
Updated to add (Monday 12/3): My period did start fully by Saturday morning. Ironically, and for once, as soon as my period actually started the hormones subsided and I felt better. I was disappointed of course, but I didn’t feel crazy. And you guys helped with that, too. Not feeling crazy goes a long way. Thanks!
I’ve been through the gammut. Feel free to email me as I don’t necessarily want to type all this on your blog.
Hey, everyone is allowed to be unsure of things, even keeled or not. You have legitimate questions and while we all love the Internet, sometimes it can return scary googles when that’s the last thing we need. I find that people in the blogosphere are a lot more level headed (most of the time) than some of those doomsday articles on the highly regarded of the medical websites, like WebMD.
When in doubt, call your doc.
OK, I am coming in late here, but this happened to me before. I had a weak looking test positive and some pregnancy symptoms, made a prg. appt at the OB, then got my period about a week late (I am, also, NEVER late and now get my period earlier, also, as I’ve gotten older). My dr. and friends mostly blew the whole thing off and I couldn’t figure out why I was upset. I got prg. the next month with my daughter.
The hormones totally messed with me!!! I just had a legitimate miscarriage (at 10 weeks). I wish someone had told me what happened b/f so I didn’t feel like such a crazy person.
Hope you are doing OK!
Good luck, keeping the emotions in check is damn near impossible. Hopefully you can have, ahem, some fun, and breathe your way past the anxiety…this coming from a woman who gave Oscar worthy performances each time her period arrived.
Lisa, thanks! You and I are on for email chatting.
Andrea, you’re right, they’re a lot of level-headed people on the web. And you’re one of them! I think we both know a thing about self-doubt. Don’t you doubt yourself either. (Been thinking of you lately.)
Hey Lori! As much as I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, it feels better knowing other people have gone through this, too. The hormones can really put you through the ringer and the medical community still discounts them! (P.S. I totally loved our talks at Blogher and it’s good to hear you again. I’ve been visiting your site fairly often but haven’t commented because of a Typekey issue. (long story) Anyways, HI!)
Hi Amanda, welcome and thanks! The words of encouragement (and realism) mean a lot.
Dear WG:
I too a suggestion for you, but I don’t know if it might be TMI to post it in your comments. It involves taking your waking temperature each day; it can help determine if you are pregnant. If you email me, I can point you toward some links (not scary ones!), and you can decide what you want to do.
Sorry about the hormone freak out. My PMS has gotten worse since I had children. Tracking my cycle helps me with that, too, as I can see how my hormones are impacting my emotions. It doesn’t invalidate what I’m feeling, but gives me more of a grip.
ciao,
rpm
ps: I’ve lurked here a little while. hope you don’t mind advice from a lurker!
Hi Red Pen Mama!
Thanks. And no worries, there’s no TMI here (though I bet the guys beg to differ). I’ve tried the temperature thing but it’s been a little screwy for me. Fluctuations from fighting colds throw it off and so on, but I do appreciate the advice! I’ve been using the ovulation sticks, instead, however (as you know) those don’t help with whether you’re pregnant or not.
My period was also worse after I had kids. I went briefly on a progesterone-only pill and that, strangely, seemed to reset my periods back to what they were pre-kid.
P.S. I love lurkers!