I saw this on a license plate yesterday…
BE 4 U I AM
You know, it’s this kind of cutesy, flagrantly ungrammatical
shit that is slowly killing my soul. (I
know this because I can hear my soul whimpering when I encounter words like
“lite” or “grillz”.)
Not that I’m always the paragon of proofreading excellence
either but at least I know I’m just
being lazy or inattentive. (Case in
point: this blog!) I’m not doing it out
of ignorance or, worse yet, going out of my way to come up with something like
the above license plate. (I’m sure the
person responsible thought they were being poetic. But I’m not bitter.) Speaking of which, I’ve just embarked on a
huge project to go through and organize, file, and input into electronic storage all my
creative writing from the last 20-odd years. I’m starting with the poetry and, whew baby! does some of that early
stuff have horrific errors in it! But
again, I know most of the blame came from my habit of procrastinating writing
projects (or any homework) until the very last second and then oh my god, I
don’t have time to proofread I must print this out right now and get it to
class!
(Professional disclaimer: of course if I’m getting paid to proofread then I am extremely
precise. Just so ya know. Oh, yeah, and I’m proactive now, too,
potential employers.)
Anywho. I’ve been
getting very little computer time lately because apparently coming within five
feet of a computer, alone and with intent to work, is on the list of things you
are absolutely never allowed to do
if you are the parent of a three-year-old. Also on this list is talking on the phone. As you can imagine this makes that paid work
very difficult to complete, let alone my pet projects. (The irritation factor of age three is not
all that conducive to creativity either.)
Speaking of more writing, I’m also very excited to go see
the lovely Rebecca Woolf tonight,
doing a reading for her book Rockabye. I haven’t mentioned this before but I was
part of Rebecca’s online writing group where we read the book in draft as she was
writing. She included me in her
acknowledgements and I was so very
touched. I really didn’t expect that
at all (or even noticed at first, because it didn’t occur to me that there
would be acknowledgments and that I should look for them). So if you haven’t bought her book yet and are
looking for a great book about parenthood I really do recommend it; she has a
lot of talent. (And I’m all snobby about
that shit, you know.)
– the
weirdgirl
Add “going to the bathroom undisturbed” to the list of things parents of toddlers are not allowed to do. Ever.
Hannah, I started to make a list of things we’re not allowed to do, but instead of being funny (like I thought it’d be) it was just sad. (And a bit depressing.) Also on that list should be: preparing food; eating quietly; any type of grooming; and wishing, conveying, or in any way enforcing that you, the parent, are not in fact a convenient walking tissue for your toddler’s runny nose or grimy fingers.
(I just don’t like being crusty.)
One good thing about having a going on three year old granddaughter is never having to eat candy alone.
I’ve found there’s not much you’re allowed to do with a three-year-old in tow. Especially a boy.
I agree with you. “Lite” and other purposeful misspellings of words in marketing “dumbs-down” the average American (as if the average American isn’t dumb enough). You’ve got to know the rules, before you can break them.
By the way, I didn’t know you were a prolific hard-copy writer, too–that’s something we have in common!