On the upside, I’ve gotten a significant chunk of my holiday shopping done… or at least ordered (thank you Internet!). On the downside, it looks like another round
of colds is infesting our household. The
last two weeks have just seemed very, very
long. I’m really looking forward to a
quiet day with a good book, which will probably happen sometime around Dec. 26th
or later (I hope). So for all you who
are fighting the yucks with the kids at home and a huge to do list, this is for
you.
The Cheater’s Guide
to Parenting
The Quickie – Back aching? Head stuffed? Put a movie on for
the kids and sneak off for a 10-minute catnap. Use one of these handy excuses, “I’m going to
fold underwear!” or “Time to dust the plants!” Be sure to stay within hearing distance but
out of line of sight. Hide under covers. (Ha! You thought I was talking
about sex, didn’t you?)
A Quiet Conversation – First, shout “Lordy, I have to go
potty! I think it’s gonna be a
stinker!” Second, sneak phone into
bathroom. Close door firmly, call
friend, whisper. Try not to let said
friend hear you when you actually pee.
A Nice Relaxed Meal –
OK, I found there’s no way to do this in the house with the kids home and
awake. Except maybe for those stolen moments standing over the sink. Ah, trusty sink! And if that “meal” happens to be a molten
chocolate lava cake or ice cream bar, so be it.
Spicing Up the Sex Life – Develop your fantasy life! My favorite? Tropical beach… warm sun… book to read… full-time babysitting services…
Oh, yes! YES! Right there, baby! Right there!
– the
weirdgirl
I like to convince Jack to watch a movie in “mommydaddy bed” with me, during which time I fall asleep. He will occasionally notice and say, “Open your eyes, Mommy,” but I can pretty much get away with it.
i do all my business in the bathroom. enough said there.
Betsy – I’ve tried that but my son just Won’t. Stop. Wiggling! I end up feeling bruised as well as sick. argh! (I’ve seen those kids who sit still for things… I’m so jealous!)
Gorillabuns – First, I’ve just always LOVED your name, Gorillabuns! And yeah, I do a lot of escaping to the bathroom. At least the bathrooms don’t echo as much in our new house compared to our old house. It’s hard to pretend you’re not in the bathroom when everything is echoing.