On the upside, I’ve gotten a significant chunk of my holiday shopping done… or at least ordered (thank you Internet!). On the downside, it looks like another round
of colds is infesting our household. The
last two weeks have just seemed very, very
long. I’m really looking forward to a
quiet day with a good book, which will probably happen sometime around Dec. 26th
or later (I hope). So for all you who
are fighting the yucks with the kids at home and a huge to do list, this is for

The Cheater’s Guide
to Parenting

The Quickie – Back aching? Head stuffed? Put a movie on for
the kids and sneak off for a 10-minute catnap.  Use one of these handy excuses, “I’m going to
fold underwear!” or “Time to dust the plants!”  Be sure to stay within hearing distance but
out of line of sight. Hide under covers.  (Ha! You thought I was talking
about sex, didn’t you?)

A Quiet Conversation – First, shout “Lordy, I have to go
potty! I think it’s gonna be a
stinker!” Second, sneak phone into
bathroom. Close door firmly, call
friend, whisper.  Try not to let said
friend hear you when you actually pee.

A Nice Relaxed Meal –
OK, I found there’s no way to do this in the house with the kids home and
awake. Except maybe for those stolen moments standing over the sink. Ah, trusty sink! And if that “meal” happens to be a molten
chocolate lava cake or ice cream bar, so be it.

Spicing Up the Sex Life – Develop your fantasy life! My favorite? Tropical beach… warm sun… book to read… full-time babysitting services…
Oh, yes!  YES! Right there, baby!  Right there!  

 – the