Chance has been on a Mickey Mouse
Clubhouse kick and the more I watch the show the more I realize that there
is something really odd going on up in that big-eared house. Daisy seems to be at the clubhouse quite a
bit. In fact, Mickey just seems to be
hanging out with Minnie and Daisy a lot.
Like have you noticed that whenever the gang needs to split up for
whatever wacky adventure they’re on Mickey always gets paired with the chicks? Daisy is always right there batting her eyelashes, wiggling her tail feathers, and
being all demanding.
So you can see where I’m going with this, right? I think Mickey is getting to use his meeska
mooska mousekatool twice as often as he used to.
But do I think Mickey is a sly philanderer using his fancy,
fully-automated home (obvious wealth there) as a way to lure young ladies into his
sugar daddy clutches? No. I think there’s another cause.
Let’s look at the facts…
Somehow, over the years, Donald has turned from an angry
abuser (not the finest catch but some chicks go for that) into a complete
idiot. I mean, he’s gotten really
dingy. You know when toddlers are
telling him the answers he’s having problems.
Goofy is… well… Goofy.
Not the most handsome guy around and he obviously can’t afford dental
work. Plus, he spends a lot of time with animals. (Not that I’m implying any tendencies with
that zoo of his.)
Pete is a greedy, money-pinching bastard. And we all know Daisy is high maintenance.
So there you go. The
bachelor pool at the old clubhouse is mighty slim. This is how I figure it went down… Daisy
has had a few too many fast-talking, “heart-to-hearts” with Minnie about
relationship problems over the years and they finally came up with an
“understanding”. (Because let’s face it,
Minnie is a follower. And she aint as
innocent as she pretends, either.) After
that, those coy Disney girls approached Mickey.
And how do you think Mickey reacted?
He’s no idiot.