Scene – our heroine, still in her pajamas, standing at the kitchen counter fixing breakfast

Keen:  Babe, you’ve got to get rid of those sweats.

Me:  hmm?

Keen:  They look awful.

Me:  Yeah, I know. I wore these while I was pregnant and…

Keen:  They remind me of how big your ass was.

stiff pause

Me [turning]:  Well, rest assured honey, you’re well on your way to lots and lots of sex with comments like those. 

Definitely time to buy some new sweats.      – the weirdgirl