“Sooo… can I use the utility sink to wash dishes?”
“No, just wait… I don’t want to chance another overflow.”
“OK… well how about I do a camp wash outside? Didn’t you just buy some new buckets? I can’t stand looking at these anymore.”
“Oh yeah, that’s a good idea. Hey, I’m going to make meatloaf for dinner.”
“Are you serious?!”
“Check it out… I’ll mix everything together and cook on tinfoil!”
“Ah ha! Smart!”

We’ve been having some plumbing issues at the (new) old homestead. We have a clog in the main, the kitchen sink
is useless, and we can’t run more than one water-themed appliance without
another one gurgling demoniacally and/or overflowing. Have you ever seen bubbles come foaming up
out of your toilet? Yeah, it’s like
that. I haven’t run the dish washer in
about a week and the washing machine since Thursday. This morning as I was taking a quick shower
Keen ran up the stairs to shout, “Better make it fast, the downstairs toilet
is speaking in tongues!”

More of the adventure so far…

Roto Rooter Guy #1 – “I’ve fixed the problem! Someone flushed a piece of cloth down the
sink.” (Not us!)

Roto Rooter Guy #2 – “Um, I’ve snaked it as far as I can go;
the main is clogged and you’ve got a leak that’s dripping below the house. Did you know you’re not supposed to flush
pieces of cloth (2 more) down the sink?” (Seriously, we just moved in.
We’re NOT putting cloth down the sink!) “Oh, and by the way, your 90-day Router Rooter warranty is void with
this problem. I’d call a plumber.”

(We remember that we bought a Home Warranty plan with the
house. Woo hoo! Problem will be solved! (yeah, right))

Home Warranty-contracted Plumber #1 (in sexy Russian accent)
– “I see your issue. Unfortunately, I
only fix problems above floor boards. You need plumber to fix below floor
boards. So sorry I couldn’t help. By the way, this home warranty company? Cheap, cheap, cheap.” (yipes!)

Home Warranty-contracted Plumber #2 (in blowhard accent) –
“What? I can’t fix this! This plumbing is a mess!” (No, it’s
not. We did have an inspector here.) “You got to snake the main. Who
knows how far deep it is, that main might be 15 feet down! I
think you need an engineering contractor! I’ll call the home warranty company but I don’t think they’ll authorize
it.” (After home warranty company
authorized it, plumber #2 spent half an hour on the phone with them insisting
he couldn’t do the job. Blowhard finally convinces them and leaves. (Translation:
he knew the problem, knew how to fix it, but it was a big job, on Saturday, and
he just didn’t wanna. Ass.))

Now we’re waiting for the third of the home-warranty
contracted plumbers to come out. In the
meantime, things have kind of piled up. You know how it is, the first day the sink plugs up you just leave the
dishes out; they can hold a couple of days. A couple of more days later you’ve got the same sitch with dirty,
sopping wet towels used to mop up overflow. Finally, at the end of a week, you’re reaching critical overload of germ
factories (at least, that’s what they look like to me… and they smell). Fortunately, me and Keen have enough camping
background to revert to those methods when push comes to shove.

Ironically, hunching over a bucket of water for an hour to
wash dishes helped with the kink in my back… which I got carrying buckets of
dirt around the yard (different project). This is my life, people.

As long as I don’t end up peeing in a bucket, I’m good. 

  – the “work high tech/live low tech” weirdgirl

Update: (‘Cause I know you’re all gripped with suspense.) We got our plumbing problems fixed today!  Woo hoo!  And yeah, Plumber #2 was full of shit. Plumber #3 found the clean-out trap no problem and snaked it out to the street. THEN he called the city and had them finish up the job. Smart man.  I’ll tell ya, nothing smells like success than coming home to the smell of sewage.  (Really, it was a good thing.)  Let the washing begin!