My son got in a fight at school today and was suspended for the day. When I walked into the office I heard, several times, that on the playground "he was running around hitting kids". They made it sound like he had gone wild. Chance was hysterical. When I finally got him to calm down I asked him why he was fighting. Because that was the question that popped in my mind because even though, granted, my son is too handsy, too touchy, and he plays too rough for a lot of kids – there still are other boys who play, or enjoy playing, just as rough – I've never known him to just start hitting kids randomly for no reason.
It turns out three to four other boys were calling him names, ganging up on him.
Neither of these behaviors is acceptable.
I am so frustrated. And tired. And I'm starting to get angry.
Oh, hon…I have no insightful words, but hope things rectify themselves as they should.
oh hon, we should talk. Email me, I’m going through something similar with Michael.
If your situation is anything like mine – the bullies will be ignored, but because you are a responsible parent you will have to deal with principals, guilt and frustration, all while rightfully knowing it’s your child who is the victim.
One behavioral teacher told me she doesn’t bother calling certain parents any more because they just don’t care or won’t return the call. I told her to stop calling me if my kids have issues then. Why should I stress and harrang on my kids when the culprit sits at home playing video games and their parents know nothing of what happened during the day….
Sending you links later. Links about bullying.
Sending you tons of love and understanding right now. I get it. Boy, do I ever get it.
http://endthebullying.wordpress.com/
Go after the administrators. Then go after the bullies. I told a kid yesterday to keep his hands and nasty words off my son. He was shocked. Bullies think they can just get away with anything.
Plus, you totally need this bag.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/62004147/retro-robot-monster-bag-with-dreadlocks?ref=sr_gallery_6&ga_search_query=purses+totes+upcycled&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=27&order=&includes%5B0%5D=tags&includes%5B1%5D=title&filter%5B0%5D=handmade
I’m hesitant to call it bullying, because this is the first time something has happened where the boys sided 3 against one. (And I wasn’t there so we’re going on second-hand info.) Because I’ve worked in the classroom and know these kids I don’t think they really understand how serious either the fighting or the teasing is. I suspect that things started off as “funny” and spiraled out of control. As one of the other parents said to me it’s a situation where you can see both sides.
My concern is that my son CAN be instigated. I haven’t seen him intentionally start conflicts; I don’t think that even occurs to him. Often, he’s trying to play but is too rough and then there’s problems, and we’re working on those issues. At the same time, I don’t think it’s fair if he’s always the one in trouble because he’s at the END of a conflict, especially ones that may have been started intentionally by other kids.
I will say that when the administration found out there was teasing involved they seemed to jump on the situation and will be monitoring for “patterns”. We’ll see how that works out.