So, OK…

I knew feet changed size during pregnancy – what with water, weight gain, and the general vindictive humor of the universe. What I didn’t expect was that my feet would continue to occasionally bloat oh so subtly after the pregnancy (and subtly enough that I hadn’t noted it previously) to the extent that I could try on a pair of shoes, love them, buy them (at a chunk of change*, no less), go to wear them THREE DAYS LATER aaaand… they don’t fit.   

Which is exactly what happened to me this last weekend.  (What was I just saying about the universe?)  I finished putting together that outfit for Keen’s company’s Holiday party, – 20 minutes before we were to leave – looked fabo for all of two seconds before I realized my feet were swimming in these shoes.  I then clumped out of the bedroom.

Me:  “Hey babe, look at these shoes.”

Keen, mouth falling open:  “Are those too big?”

Me:  “Yeah!”

Keen:  “But they fit at the store.”

Me:  “I KNOW!!” 

(That’s how you know you got a good man… the keepers can back up your shopping experiences so you know you’re not delusional.)

Went to the party in mommy’s shoes anyway, hobbling around bowlegged with probably a 5 inch gap between the back of my heel and the shoe.  (And what’s with hotels that they all have to pave their front walkways with cobble stones?)  I didn’t dance much.  (And when I did I took off the shoes and left them at the edge of the dance floor so that everyone could read the $59.99 price tag I neglected to take off. Classy, wg. Some days are just bad shoe days.) But hey, it was a Mardi Gras theme and the shoes were gold.  I’m still going to try to return them though.

In ANY case, the above is getting added to the Things They Don’t Tell in Lamaze list as well as some other new additions. Look for those soon.  (Yeah, I’m not so organized as to do both in one night.)

On an up note, Keen and I learned the perfect thing to remove candy smears that somehow mysteriously appeared on a supposedly clean suit that was hanging safely in a closet (toddler, anyone?)… warm baby wipes!  With not a residual lint-y tissue booger in sight. Those things are magic, baby!             

       – the weirdgirl

*OK, $60 bucks might not be a real "chunk of change" as far as shoes go, but it still would have hurt less if they’d been $12 Payless shoes.