After 10 months sometimes I still don’t know what to make of my playgroup.  Sometimes I have a fabulous time and sometimes (still!) I just feel like an outsider.  Everyone is completely nice and a lot of the moms I really, really like but… sometimes I get the impression that some of them don’t like me that much.

I don’t know.  It seems like a lot of the moms are really close and have built up close-knit relationships, and I don’t get to as many of the events as the others do.  Again, no one is mean or anything (and honestly I think some of these moms are really cool ladies), I just sometimes feel a little disconnected.  I end up sitting back and hanging out a lot of the time. 

Oh, and I do occasionally feel judged by my shoes. 

There have been quite a few comments about my appearance.  I seem to be averaging a comment about every other event I attend.  And frankly, those are starting to bug me.  None of them are snarky, but they all seem to be along the lines of “you’re always dressed up” and “did you just come from work/the salon?” and that I’m a “glamour girl”.  (I’d be fine with a simple “Hey, cute pants! Where d’ya get them?” but I never get those kind of comments.)  For the record, I usually wear jeans or chino-type pants and variously colored knit T type shirts (I don’t tend to wear a lot of regular t-shirts because I always feel like the collars are choking me and my mangled thyroid).  Usually the fanciest things I’m wearing are my shoes and I only pull out the fun shoes at the mom-only events (i.e. no kids to chase after).  So… what the hell? 

(I can tell you one thing, it certainly doesn’t make me inclined to dress down… which would probably be the same outfit anyway, but with different shoes and a stain on the T.  It would still all be color-coordinated, though.)

I figure all I can do is be myself.  I’ve just never been in a social group where I’ve felt so awkward for so long.  (But then I’ve never joined an organization for someone else’s (Chance’s) benefit before either.)  You’d think there’d be at least one other person who likes fun shoes, right? 

Sigh.  Are all playgroups like this?              – wg

(And in case any of you wondered… no, I am NOT changing my shoes!  Please. That’s just crazy talk.) 

The offending item: