Also accepted: How to scare the bejeebus out of your children with education.


Me, typing on the computer and peering at the Science Fair Handbook (capital letters, please):  "So are you sure you want to do the science fair?"

Chance: "Uh-huh."

Me: "Remember, they're not letting anyone do volcanoes this year."  (Volcanoes… THE reason to do science fairs.)

Chance, swishing saliva around his mouth: "Yes, I want to do it."

Me, more typing and peering: "OK, so let's look at some project ideas."

Chance: swish swish swish gurgle gurgle gurgle

Me: "We could do something with plants? Or how about magnets?"

Chance: "Mmmm." swish swish gurgle

Me: "Well let me look up this other site and see…"

Chance, leaning over, then sitting up. Swishing has ceased.

Me: "Did you just SPIT on the carpet?!?"

Chance: "Uhhh…" Frantic cleaning follows.

Me, watching the frantic cleaning. "I know… why don't we do a science project about SPIT?" <sarcasm> <heavy>

Chance, grin splitting wide: "OK!!"

Obviously someone doesn't believe me about the germ factor. Prepare to have your mind blown, little dude.  (I hope.)                 – wg