So I keep accidentally reading porn. And this isn't like that time when I accidentally got a Brazilian bikini wax (hint: if you hear the wax technician say, "whoops"… stop it right there!) because going in to it I knew that we would be dealing with that bikini region but then it suddenly just all got more involved than anticipated. Like a bad date but with hot wax. No, this is me picking out books that look interesting and then reading a bit into it and then totally getting sideswiped by porn. I blame it on my Kindle, actually. There isn't as much detail as on the regular Amazon page or maybe the info is in a different section so I'm missing it, or maybe it's because I'm being exposed to newer authors that I'm not familiar with, and I also didn't realize that steampunk has kind of been co-opted by the romance industry, but where it really gets me is the samples! See, you're allowed to try to a sample of a book before you commit to buying it. But see, these wily writers? They never put the porn in the first two chapters! So you buy the book and get into the THIRD chapter and then realize that what you thought was a plot was just a flimsy set up for the porn! Or the other thing that has been happening is there is a perfectly decent plot that I'm rather enjoying and then the side plot starts dominating with a lot of pulsating and blossoming and other things that anatomically don't really happen the way they describe. (And really, if a boob suddenly "blossomed" in front of you wouldn't that just freak you the fuck out? I mean, that is like some Alien shit going on there! I don't need boobs changing shape, thank you very much.) Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against porn. I like a good romance with a hot sex scene just as much as the next person (which was SO the problem with Twilight, amiright?). But I don't want to read a whole book of it. Because after awhile? Yawn, manroot, yawn.