Classic examples, definitions, and stats

The Headbutt – unintentional; includes any collision with head or face, including orbital, jaw or (rare) back of head; frequency: rare; pain/love ratio: 9/3

Stomping on the Balls – unintentional, motivated by desired proximity; frequency: occasional; pain/love ratio: 10/6

The Nipple Pull, or classically, the “purple nurple” – research unclear whether this is a sign of affection or if the proteburance of said breasts simply make them an ideal climbing tool; frequency: occasional; pain/love ratio: 7/undetermined

“Love” Bites – unintentional to highly intentional; cutesy name does not make up for annoyance; frequency (lately): recurrent; pain/love ratio: 7/0

The Chest-Hair Swirl/Pull – intentional motivated by curiosity; frequency: rare; pain/love ratio: 4/1

Hugging – intentional; frequency: recurrent; pain/love ratio: 0/10

Hugging with Throat jab – unintentional, frequency: rare; pain/love ratio: 4/10

Hugging with Headbutt – unintentional, frequency: occasional; pain/love ratio: 6/10

Hugging with “Love” Bite – so not cool intentional, frequency: rare; pain/love ratio: 8/1

The Nail Scratch/Gouge – unintentional; this includes fingers as well as toes, more aggressive grooming recommended; frequency: occasional; pain/love ratio: 5/5

Drool, deposits of – initially unintentional, increasing intention with age; frequency: recurrent; pain/love ratio: 10/3  (if accompanied by “kiss”, pain/love ratio: 10/10)

Goofy Smile after a long day with all of the above – intentional; frequency: recurrent; pain/love ratio: 3/100

                 – the weirdgirl