Classic examples, definitions, and stats
The Headbutt – unintentional; includes any collision with head or face, including orbital, jaw or (rare) back of head; frequency: rare; pain/love ratio: 9/3
Stomping on the Balls – unintentional, motivated by desired proximity; frequency: occasional; pain/love ratio: 10/6
The Nipple Pull, or classically, the “purple nurple” – research unclear whether this is a sign of affection or if the proteburance of said breasts simply make them an ideal climbing tool; frequency: occasional; pain/love ratio: 7/undetermined
“Love” Bites – unintentional to highly intentional; cutesy name does not make up for annoyance; frequency (lately): recurrent; pain/love ratio: 7/0
The Chest-Hair Swirl/Pull – intentional motivated by curiosity; frequency: rare; pain/love ratio: 4/1
Hugging – intentional; frequency: recurrent; pain/love ratio: 0/10
Hugging with Throat jab – unintentional, frequency: rare; pain/love ratio: 4/10
Hugging with Headbutt – unintentional, frequency: occasional; pain/love ratio: 6/10
Hugging with “Love” Bite – so not cool intentional, frequency: rare; pain/love ratio: 8/1
The Nail Scratch/Gouge – unintentional; this includes fingers as well as toes, more aggressive grooming recommended; frequency: occasional; pain/love ratio: 5/5
Drool, deposits of – initially unintentional, increasing intention with age; frequency: recurrent; pain/love ratio: 10/3 (if accompanied by “kiss”, pain/love ratio: 10/10)
Goofy Smile after a long day with all of the above – intentional; frequency: recurrent; pain/love ratio: 3/100
– the weirdgirl
WG, brilliant observations. Thanks for enumerating those for us.
So love the goofy smile. Can handle all but the hair pull. Especially the little owie ones at the back of the neck…
This is great.
Since I was recently awakened with a punch in the throat, accompanied by a cheerful “Mama,” I can relate. Has Chance not yet mastered the Flying Tackle Hug? That’s when he races at you from across the room and flings his hugging self into your legs. That’s about a 0/100.
Entertaining stuff.
The stomping of the balls can also be motivated by trying to see if they can get yet another yelp of pain from Daddy.
Stomping on the balls, that brings back some fond(?) memories.
My least favorite is the nipple pull. You’d think us girls would get used to it… but I sure as hell never did.
this was highly scientific, and freakishly accurate.
The pubic hair pull was the worst for me (what, you get to go to the bathroom alone?)
LOL I needed that today. I love me some WG. 😛
I forgot to add the “C-section stomp”. That pubic hair comment reminded me because a really good stomp not only hits right on the scar tissue but it also manages to yank some hair to the side at the same time. I think one of those is about a 8/6.
OMG! Love this. It really hits come right now as my right eyeball is hanging from it’s socket after Archer pulled it out of my face.