First off, I would like to say that I am occasionally too much the good citizen.

Thursday night Chance gets sick.  Spiking fever, throwing up.  So, since all the papers say to go to the doctor if you have a high fever and flu-like symptoms and, again being the good citizen, feeling like it's probably my civic duty to help get ahead of this swine flu thing, especially since we just came back from the happiest place on earth (a.k.a. kiddie germ fest), and not to say that I wasn't worried about the sudden fever, etc. because I was, we take him in to the walk-in clinic.

There are a lot of people with flu-like symptoms at the walk-in clinic.

Normally, – and I know because I've done this before – Chance gets in the exam room, he's hyper (because he's hyper even when he's sick) the doctor goes through the usual "ah's" and "deep breaths" now, and then I'm told "He certainly looks lively!  It's probably a cold," take tylenol, humidifier, blah blah and bring him back in the morning if he's worse.  (Actually, normally, I would have weathered the night and taken Chance to his regular doctor the next morning but you know… good fucking citizen.)

THIS TIME he got…

a urine test

blood taken (twice. SO not pretty)

chest x-rays

double shots of antibiotics

all this over the course of 4.5 hours!

It turned out that Chance's white blood count was super high so they knew he had an infection but they couldn't figure out what (viral? or bacterial?) (but definitely not swine flu). So, you know, it was good we went to the clinic.  However, they started talking about going to the hospital and I immediately thought "Oh god, can we please stop traumatizing my child and just let him go home and get some sleep?"  Because, you know, sometimes sitting up half the night taking tests – especially sharp, pokey ones – isn't going to help a kid get better.

The next morning we did a follow up with his regular doctor where Chance got blood taken… again!  Ah, the trauma.  (At least this time he didn't throw up on me from being so upset.)  Duration of visit: 1.5 hours.

This morning another follow up to the doctor… with a breathalyzer!  Woo hoo!  ('Cause, yeah, the only reason I was ever truly worried about the swine flu thing is because of the whole respiratory aspect.  Chance isn't considered asthmatic… yet… but this is the third time he's had labored breathing from being sick.)  Duration of vsit: 2 hours.

Total time logged with doctors: 8 hours.  Total trauma and potential therapy fodder: high but mitigated by lollipops and hot wheels stickers.

Although, except for the small diversion of sickiness, I'm pleased to say that I am almost entirely caught up on everything!  (*cough cough cleaning doesn't count cough*)  Yeah, sure, there are other items that could quickly become the new To Do list but those are all nice to haves.  (*cough cleaning cough*)  I guess catching up just naturally happens when you're up half the night.  And… BONUS!… I have this theory that the day you finally catch up on everything… that's the day you stop aging.  Yeah, I know, right?!  I've developed this airtight theory through a complicated formula of space-time equations and strings and um quarks and stuff.  Seriously, I am almost 99% positive this is true.  It's just never been attained yet, do you see?  Or maybe it has and that's why moms like Heidi Klum look so good.  (Damn you…)

Anyways, I even managed to whip these up.  Just for my favorite girl crush FADKOG.

Venting you slut cup  

Camel toe cougar

              – the weirdgirl