Recently, every time Chance has a playdate over there has been a major meltdown when it’s time for his friend to go home. I mean, there have always been some tears (what can I say? he’s a social kid) but nothing like the water works leaking lately. I figured it was because he was out of school for summer and missing it. Who knew the murky and convoluted depths of the four-year-old mind.
“Hey Chance, it’s time for Atticus to go home. Give him a hug and say goodbye.”
“What?! Noooooo!” Sobs ensue. “But I want to kee-eeep him!”
“Sorry, kiddo. It’s time for him to go.”
“Mom, I want to keep my friend!”
“Honey, he’ll still be your friend, and you’ll have another playdate soon.”
“But mom, I don’t want him to go. I want to keep him!” Crocodile tears wash the floorboards.
Ding! (that’s my lightbulb)
“Wait… you mean you want him to stay here? All the time? And sleep and eat here?”
“Yee-esss!”
“Honey, no. We don’t keep our friends as pets.” Hmmm, I’d love to keep Johnny Depp, though.
“But why?”
“Because our friends are not pets. They’re people.” I could make him a nice place in my closet. Have all his outfits for him.
“But I want to keep my friend!”
“Chance, how would you feel if you went to a friend’s house and they wanted to keep you?” Harrison Ford, too. He’s getting up in years, but he’d be great for laps.
“Yeah, but…”
“And you could never come back to your own toys, or room, or bed? Would you like that?” Harry and Johnny would be so spoiled they’d be happy.
“No.” sniffles
“Well, that’s why we don’t keep friends as pets.” Ooh, another one? Josh Gates from Destination Truth.
“If someone tried to keep me I’d spank them!!”
“Uh, okay.” Mmm, spanking.
“Mom?”
“Yeah, Chance?”
“Can we go get a real pet, then? Or a baby brother?”
Sure. Next time I go to Costco.
Who would you keep?
– the weirdgirl
Mine asked for a baby too. “More kids, please” were the exact words one night over dinner. Huz and I laughed hysterically at the idea of adding to our family just as we have no diapers, everyone sleeps, and can shower themselves. No kids, kids. Sorry.
And then. One month later, hi pregnant! Hi nausea, and discomfort, and BLOATING.
So yeah. Be careful. Kids are little prophets.
Considering my celebrity crushes are young (though entirely legal)(hello, Zac Efron! Oh, and you brought your buddy Joe Jonas? Come in! Come in!), it’s possible they’d be suitable playdates for the boys AND me!
I would, without question, keep Viggo Mortensen. I’d lock him in my basement.
STIMEY GIVE ME MY PET BACK NOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW
I’m officially inviting you over for a play date soon. Pack your bags.
LOL. Great post. I’ll time share Harrison with you. And Clive Owen can come to my house for a staydate anytime.
That’s a tough question. Most commercial female celebrities these days are underweight. But the artistic ones are as close to perfect as can be. Some examples: Cecelia Bartoli (mezzo-soprano), Lesley Garrett (soprano), Eleonora Cassano (dancer), Bettina Boller (violinist), and Dorothea Roschmann (soprano). So I’d keep one of these women–or rather, let her keep me!