11cookiemonster_1I would feel like my life was terribly boring if I wasn’t so frickin’ frackin’ busy all the time.  Between raising a kid, work, school, our social schedule, and housework (you notice that’s last on the list, right?) even in my downtime I sometimes hear the ToDo list perched on my shoulder, sticking me with his pitchfork, wearing red lame and faux pearls and giggling hysterically.  Not to say I succumb to anxiety (that emotion has been beaten to a pulp by far more pressing things than undone housework, or even school for that matter – I mean, I’m paying for it, I can screw up if I want to!), but sometimes I have to fight against my own instincts in regards to the ol’ ToDos.  As in, even though the mess on the table is crooning to me, driving me nuts, I force myself to finish my school reading or whatever else is at the top of the priority list

But still… even busy it’s pretty boring stuff.  Sample: Monday – email work vendor, do laundry, clean house.  Woohoo! (Inject your own note of stressed out boredom here.)

So I’ve been thinking up ways to spice up the routine. Or at least amuse myself, because nothing can break up that stress better than a good chuckle (well, besides home visits from a personal masseuse). 

Self-Amusement Tip #1:  Buy stickers, decorate your work assignments or notes with them, especially if you can find a goofy looking one to represent that annoying co-worker.  (This works better if you work from home; otherwise tell co-worker that it’s a “prioritization system”.)

Tip #2:  Set up target decals in the sink, give yourself points every time you make a direct hit with the detergent.  Or, even better, use pictures of political figures or obnoxious celebrities.

Tip #3:  Change up random words in children’s books while reading to your kids.  For example, change “brown bear” to “brown booger”.  See if they notice.  It’s continuity training! 

Tip #4: Make up your own opera while folding laundry.  Write entire stanzas about Velveeta and the clothes dryer.  (My favorite is the one where the heroine housewife becomes a pirate!)  Encourage children to sing with you.  Singing well is not a priority. 

Tip #5:  Make cupcakes for no apparent reason.  Tell extended family members (who drop by without calling first) they’re for “global warming”. Serve to said family members as “breakfast” while children perform opera.

Tip #6:  Dress your child’s toys in gender inappropriate clothing.  (Cookie Monster looks great in heels, by the way, it really slims down his legs.)  Display around the room. 

Tip #7:  Give yourself stars for each ToDo completed.  After you have accumulated a few stars, reward yourself with a prize of your choice.  (Please note: chocolate, girly drinks, and new shoes are just a natural part of every day and so are not considered “prizes” per se, but necessary items for sanity.)

              – the weirdgirl