I rarely talk about this but… I have a secret affair going
on. I love office supplies! There
is just something about them… the pens, the sticky notes, the various and
sundry elements to an office set, THE cutest little thumbtacks for the bulletin
board which are coordinated (of course) with the appropriate themed folder
files. It’s practically fetishism. And paper goods? They get me all tingly. A really good quality notebook, sexy wrapping
paper, the heft of a great 90 lb linen-blend stationary? Oh, baby! You should have seen me at my wedding. Instead of picking my invites from a catalog I made them myself,
lovingly choosing each paper selection, stroking the texture gently, and
procuring just the right envelopes for their time together… like some godless
paper pimp.  I know it’s bad.  I’ve mentioned before that I don’t scrapbook but, sometimes, I just
walk down the scrapbook aisle to check things out. If I could stick a dollar bill down some art
paper’s panties I probably would. 

Keen teases me mercilessly about this… in front of other
people, (I blame my sense of shame on him), usually as I’m cruising Target
looking for my yearly student planner. Oh yeah, that’s right… I use a student planner. I just happened to buy one as my day planner one
year for a new job and I’ve been using them ever since. They’re the exact same
thing as a day planner/calendar, they just run from July to August. And once you use one as your daily calendar
you’re kind of stuck. There aren’t a
whole lot of calendars available in August, especially ones that fill in that
pesky August to December gap. (Plus,
some of the student planners are super
.  I heart Mead.)

Not to geek out on all of you, 12-year-old style (more than
I usually do).  (I promise I have nothing with kittens on it.)

I know it’s “young” and not exactly “professional” but I also
know I’m not the only one.  I’m just
less-restrained about my desk accessories crush. When I worked in an office every day, my calendar was never mixed up
with anyone else’s. I still marked up
documents with the traditional red pen, but the red ink I used had sparkles in
it. There were people who flat out
thought it was weird and said so, but there were also those who would sneak
into my office to bond over the release of colored staples or the newest magnet
set. I had the only office with really
colorful prints on the walls and “interesting” file boxes. Other co-workers would mention how “homey” my
office always felt and find excuses to hang out. Even the Engineers. (That says something.) I was a haven, A HAVEN, for the other office
supply fetishists!  And I also always
shared my stash of Lunchables with anyone working through lunch.

Plain and simple, color helps me work. Cubical walls are evil (not to mention boring).  Plus,
I personally believe that acknowledging one’s love for small organizational accessories
is completely natural and healthy.  And
the titillation of cool office supplies just carries over into my work, adding
that extra zing. Nothing breaks the
monotony like fondling a svelte gel roller.  I will not be ashamed.

I try, however, to be practical. There are only so many office supplies/paper
goods one needs at any given time. Especially when a girl works from home. Part-time. And as you can
imagine, this time of year is a little rough on me. I can usually manage to sneak in and get my
student planner before all the back to school items explode and gyrate off the
shelves. But now… *sigh*… now there are
labor day sales going on. Erasers $.05
each. Three-ring binders, buy two get
one free.  I have absolutely no need for
three-ring binders.  But just look at
them! All those brightly-colored spines
looking so shiny and fresh-faced on the shelves, just waiting for someone to
take off their wrappers. The latest
specialty papers gyrating fluttering in the breeze of the air conditioning.  Oh, the sweet seductiveness of it all!

Maybe if I just buy one little item… say, a pencil
sharpener.  You can never have too many
pencil sharpeners, right? And those can
be used for eyeliners, as well as
pencils.  Sexy little multi-taskers.

They’re calling me I swear. 

            – the weirdgirl