Dear Donald,
as too many other 
friends and family have also expressed concern. You know I care for you but you just don’t
seem happy. I feel it’s time you stop
living the lie. Your marriage to Daisy
seems one entirely of convenience and deep down I think you’re both
miserable. You’ve been very angry and
constantly leave her company in order to spend time with Goofy; Mickey and
Minnie have spent too many nights sitting up with her waiting for you to get
home. I know Daisy can be a bit critical
at times, but please know that she loves you, as we all do, and only want
what’s best for you.
This is hard to say so I’m just going to be blunt… I think you’re feeling some gender
confusion. And that’s OK! Myself, your
friends and family, want to support you regardless of where the road to
self-discovery leads you. However, if
you have not already done so, I strongly recommend counseling. You need to work through the anger and
identity issues so that you can be comfortable with you.
You must have heard the speculation (and sometimes snide
comments) that you’re gay, but as you and I both know, for all his
kind-heartedness, Goofy is no one’s first choice for a life-partner. I imagine spending time with a simple-minded
soul like the Goof must ease a lot of the daily stress you must be
feeling.
On a related subject I’ve also noticed that your voice has
changed in the past year – it seems a little higher, more melodious than it was
before. You also seem to be experiencing
more mood swings usual, and your weight has changed. If you have started any type of medical treatment or process we want to support that,
too. I cannot stress this enough. We love you.
Please talk to us. You don’t have to be in this alone.
Your loving friend,
wg
I think the fact that he wears a shirt and no pants is the real tip off.
I know I’m retarded but the other day when my son was watching Donald I realized he’s actually a prick. He treats his kids like crap and in this episode he was hitting them and acting like an asshole.
Look how kids have destroyed my life. Now I’m even upset about a fictional character not being a good father.
AD
I’ve noticed that more recently-made Disney cartoons have tried to soften Donald up. They play him more as a clueless goof now, instead of an angry abuser. (And he was never a father, he was always “Uncle” Donald.)
Every once in a while I kind of wish the old Donald would emerge and he’d go off on Sneaky Pete. Oy, I am watching WAY too much of Mickey’s Clubhouse!
I’m watching too much too. I told Ally that our car couldn’t fly over the clouds the other day, and she told me “Maybe we need a Mouse-ka-tool!”
I knew he was gay when he did that Disco Duck song.
I can’t love anyone who goes around without pants.
Forgive me if you’ve heard this before:
Mickey wanted to divorce Minnie. The Judge said, “Mickey, you stated that you wanted to divorce Minnie because she’s crazy…”
“No, Your Honor! I stated that I wanted to divorce her because she was fucking Goofy!”