This is going to sound strange but I've been having total free floating anxiety without a cause. Like James Dean but if Woody Allen had been directing.  And it's all about the holidays. I've been very careful not to overload myself, and I'm not overloaded!  I'm just being totally anxious about the possibility.  Usually I have all this creative energy and want to do a bunch of crafts and decorating for the holidays.  But this year I'm just not feeling it. I started working on one craft and went quickly into "meh" mode, coupled with, "This is too much! What was I thinking?!"  I knew that I would feel better if I would just start shopping.  It's like as soon as you put in that first order with Amazon you know a chunk of gifts are done!  Total retail therapy.  Just like the marketers want.  And it worked for a little while; I started shopping and I felt very much relieved.  But then I went to an IRL store to find something, and I couldn't find it, even though the name of that something was in the title of the store (I mean, seriously, WTF?), and I started to feel annoyed and grumpy and vaguely anxious again!

So I can only assume that the people in charge of the holidays (marketers, elves, kwanzaa-bots, whatevs) are not doing a very good job of engaging me.  Get on that, people.

I'm still looking forward to Christmas. I enjoy the festivities. But while I pretty much know what I'm going to get everyone else, I can't muster up the energy to think of anything for myself. I'm sure this is really annoying to Keen. So far all I've asked for is a hoodie that Keen owns, in a smaller size, and tights.  That's it.  Socks would also be acceptable.  A warm glow, christmas cheer, unlimited time, and a good book would be cool, too.

I think the marketers pretty much hate me now.