In the mail I've received a catalogue entirely filled with socks.  It is aimed at teenagers.  I am enthralled.  I love socks.  I love socks hard.  (That's what he said.)  One birthday when I was a kid I got 15 pairs of underwear.  Nothing else, just underwear.  That blew.  But if they had been socks?  Pretty much every Christmas I ask for socks.  Preferably cashmere blend, but if they are cushy soft I'm not picky.  When I get a hole in a sock I cling to it much too long.  We had a deep relationship you understand and it just does't feel ready to be over.  Except for that one cold spot (/bad habit/hates kids) the sock still seems Perfectly Good. I really should learn how to make sock monkeys.  (Just typing that made an ominous boom go off in the house. Who the hell brought a gong in here?)  There is a whole page in this catalogue devoted to a sock menagerie.  And it says, "made from real socks."


I wouldn't call it a fetish, I just really don't see any reason adults must skimp on socks once they've grown past teenagehood.  Winter makes your feet cold.  Although, I admit the colors in this catalogue are… unfortunate.  As are the multi-color hearts and bows.  But… holy bejeebus!  They've got socks with metal studs! 

I am a goner.                – wg