In the mail I've received a catalogue entirely filled with socks. It is aimed at teenagers. I am enthralled. I love socks. I love socks hard. (That's what he said.) One birthday when I was a kid I got 15 pairs of underwear. Nothing else, just underwear. That blew. But if they had been socks? Pretty much every Christmas I ask for socks. Preferably cashmere blend, but if they are cushy soft I'm not picky. When I get a hole in a sock I cling to it much too long. We had a deep relationship you understand and it just does't feel ready to be over. Except for that one cold spot (/bad habit/hates kids) the sock still seems Perfectly Good. I really should learn how to make sock monkeys. (Just typing that made an ominous boom go off in the house. Who the hell brought a gong in here?) There is a whole page in this catalogue devoted to a sock menagerie. And it says, "made from real socks."
I wouldn't call it a fetish, I just really don't see any reason adults must skimp on socks once they've grown past teenagehood. Winter makes your feet cold. Although, I admit the colors in this catalogue are… unfortunate. As are the multi-color hearts and bows. But… holy bejeebus! They've got socks with metal studs!
I am a goner. – wg