A process defined.

The morning.

Selfinducelusion – n. a mild though humility-instilling virus, typified by an exaggerated sense of confidence then followed by crushing reality.  Selfinducelusion is most usually contracted by exposure to the Universe.  Common symptoms of selfinducelusion include making extraordinarily long to-do lists, strained but focused optimism, and the utterance of phrases such as, “I’m not sick, it’s just allergies,” and “If I can just get through everything today, I’ll be fine.”

The afternoon.

Dear Universe,

I’m sorry but I will not be sorting the huge pile of clothes that has been sitting next to my bed for a year now – a pile made up of three distinct sizing phases (pre-pregnancy, post-pregnancy, and now) which I periodically root through like a squirrel after a walnut tagged for hibernation. I will also not be doing laundry, or rather, I may be able to throw in a load or two but I will absolutely not be folding any of it and anyway, everyone in our household still has a least one pair each of clean underwear, pants and a shirt – those should do just fine.  I will also not be making any of the calls on my list today, including one to fix that annoying leak in the kitchen.  I know that I said I would get to these things, but I have re-prioritized for the overall betterment and efficiency of the household maintenance engineer. Please note that the long-term goals of this administration are still expected to be met (right after my nap).  I hope that with this advance notice, you are willing to meet me halfway.

Thank you for your understanding.   

The evening.

Hear that, Universe?!  *shake fist, cough*  I got through 1.3 items on my list today… without any of YOUR help, thank you very much!  I did it!  *cough wheeze*  I don’t need any goodwill from YOU!  *hack ssnnrkk*

don’t hurt me                – wg