So my nails changed when I was pregnant.  I didn’t notice at the time, but after I gave birth I noticed this tiny line across each of my nails at about the same place, like a little ridge.  The changes left over from my pregnant body were growing out; the pregnant nail was a little thicker and shiny, the post-pregnant nail was a little duller.  (That sounds like each nail is going to spew forth little babies, doesn’t it?  Bizarre.)  So anyway, I’ve been watching these little lines on my nails grow out slowly and it’s finally gotten to the point where they’ve grown out enough that the next time I clip them all traces of pregnancy will be gone. (Well, except for the c-section scar and the stretch marks – any chance those will grow out?!)  And though pregnancy SUCKED (don’t let anyone snooker you into thinking differently), I’m actually feeling a little nostalgic. 

But then I thought, wouldn’t it be cool if your nails worked like that all the time?  Like you got a line every time life changed direction on you?  A new job, going back to school, a new love life?  The good, the bad, the ugly.  Kind of like how palm-readers say the lines on your hands function, but you can accessorize your nails.  You could paint over them if you didn’t want to see the line.  You could add jewels.  Or leave them bare and proud (or defiant).  You could cut them short or grow them out long.  (How great would it be to clip a bad boyfriend out of your life?)  The line stays as long as you go through that period and when that segment of your life was over the line grows out.  Your nails could be a metaphor for… well, not for life, but definitely for the dysfunctional coping mechanisms we use every day!  How cool would that be?! 

Sigh… sometimes my anal-retentive control fantasies just take over.

                 – the weirdgirl