I’ve been looking into playgroups recently, for my sanity and Chance’s socialization. There is this neat organization locally that puts together moms (and dads) and kids by age group and location (which they call “clubs”). For example, there is a neighborhood club of kids born in 2005. The neighborhoods they cover are fairly large so that they cover a good region and with a lot of people joined, they can have a lot of activities. The closest club to me has about 50 members with various activities and even smaller playgroups once you meet people. Once you contact a club you have 30 days to check ‘em out before coughing up any membership dough. So cool beans, right? They give you an opportunity to meet and greet and if you really don’t click with anyone they also give you a chance to look at other clubs in the area. (There are three possible clubs I can check out that aren’t too far.)
I’m talking to this really nice woman on the phone; the organizer of the group. Super nice, did I mention that? She’s telling me about all the activities and this is when I start to get a little nervous…
“And as well as the Walks and Park Days, we also have a monthly Girls’ Night Out and those are a lot of fun. Sometimes it’s Bunko Night, or Scrapbooking Night, but I think next month…”
It was as she said “Bunko” and “Scrapbooking” that my little internal monitor started beeping. Understand, I have nothing against either of these things. I have heard of Bunko. I know it’s a game, and I’m pretty sure it involves buns and kos, but I have NO IDEA how to play. I’ve actually tried to scrapbook in the past… it didn’t go well. This is not to say that I’m not a crafty person. I do consider myself a crafter and pretty damn good with my hands. I just do different crafts than scrapbooks. I do jewelry work. I’ve been doing jewelry work since high school when I took my first metal-smithing class. And maybe it’s got something to do with burning stuff with a propane torch but jewelry work and scrapbooking are pretty different. I seem to have a mental block with scrapbooks. It’s not the decorating part; I can do that, sort of, like the covers and so on (and I’ve even pilfered the components to work into jewelry pieces). It’s the photos. I just can’t seem to do anything with photos beyond taking the pictures and printing them out. I certainly can’t think up great text to post around the page (which is funny in itself considering I’m a book and words person) or themed doodads to go with each photo. I can stick them in frames and/or I can throw them into a photo box with a labeled index card, but that’s about it. (The baby photo album I started is… well, it’s just in a sad state right now, OK? And no, none of the grandmas have gotten their “brag books”.)
So anyway. (I’m blathering on, I know.) It was those words that started to scare me, just because there’s only so many playgroup events and if I’m already obviously not following the Usual Mom Hobbies & Interests then… well… I’m a little worried. You know, things to talk about, things to do together, blah blah blah. Clique defining things (not that I’m very pro-cliquish, but the point IS to hang out with someone). Oh yeah, and ALL the activities so far (except for Girls’ Night Out) are set up for the mornings. NOT a strong time of day for me. (Or Chance for that matter, his nap time coincides with all the Park Days.)
But I’m gonna give it a go. Maybe after I get to know a few ladies I can ask the real question… is there an afternoon playgroup for disaffected poet fashionistas? ‘Cause I think I would fit in great with THAT group. – the weirdgirl
Good luck. I’d be worried as well.
Can’t believe they make you pay dues!
Disaffected poet fashionistas? Video arcade game enthusiasts? Or just funny-ass writers who crack me up? Those are the playgroups you need, WG. Screw the Bunko and scrapbook groups…unless they serve booze.
I’ll lose all respect for you if you participate in any scrapbooking parties. That sounds like a list of “usual mom hobbies for mom’s who were never really cool to start out with.” Whichever sub-clique you start (goths? stoners? auto-shop?) can my wife join?
I’ve heard of a ton of “desperate housewives” playing Bunko and getting drunk on wine…sounds lame to me.
But at the same time, Chance does need to socialize. It’s a good thing to get him around kids his age right about now.
Have fun teaching him how to “share” or dealing with other kids that just rip stuff out of his hands.
Thanks guys!! I appreciate the support. (It’s funny how only men have made comments; I’ve probably pissed off all the blog moms now. sigh) If I do manage to find a good sub-group I vow to host a chat room for online moms.
And Phoenix, thanks!! you’re enjoying my future parenthood pain a little too much.
I wish we lived closer. I would totally start a group with you…a “I hate groups” group. That would be very punk rock of us. We could have one day a week where we egg Mommy-And-Me classes? Kidding. Kind of.
I barely watched Stepford Wives, but I can just see you trying to resist the cooing moms as they try to convince you to be just like them. “Assimilate and everything will be OK….”
Just keep one eye to make sure that the doors are not locked and that you can break free. Or better yet, tell me where you’ll be in case you need to call for a ride outta there.
GGC – a group with you would be a lot of fun! I frown on egging though… OK, the mean moms are fair game.
Jade – if you see me pop up on your cell phone get your engine running.
I much prefer Poker over Bunko (it’s a dice game – ala Yahtzee)… Sounds like a military spouse social (I avoid those as well)… I need a playgroup where there is a private room so the mom’s can talk about REAL stuff like sex, men, and life – using expletives TYVM!
scrapbooking scares me too. and, last I checked, it does not count as a “night out.” unless it involves lots of drinking, which I kind of doubt it does. but maybe I’m wrong?
I just got this visual image of a bunch of drunken women trying to manage scissors and glue! hee hee
Yeah, I think I’m more a poker and drinks kind of gal. Though I have to admit drinks and any type of game turn out pretty fun.
Even when I am on my next maternity leave I will continue to pay my daycare dues part time so my girl can do all that socializing with out me.
The prospect of mommy groups or all activities gymbor-ieieeee terrify me. Good luck, sister. you possess a courage I will never have.
I am part of a group like that. At our last “Moms Night Out,” I brought a bottle of wine and some Jack Daniels. Nobody else was drinking, so I was forced to imbibe the entire bottle of wine myself and then move on to Jack. Somehow this actually endeared me to them, because several of them commented the next day that they were happy to be finally making “lasting friendships.” The point is, these groups will be whatever you make of them. And as long as you stay true to yourself, you might be happily surprised by what you find.