Chance woke up with a very high fever this morning, 103.7, and I gave him motrin and threw him in the bath and basically did all the things to bring his fever down while biting my nails and feeling very frazzled.  His fever has come down (thank goodness) and we are going to the doctor. Chance was sick the week before we went to Disneyland and then a bit at Disneyland.  Chance also always seems to get sick when Keen is out of town.  The kids at school have been passing around illness in rotating waves lately.  I feel like a very big portion of my life is spent around sick kids (which is exactly why I never had an iota of interest in being a doctor or nurse).  And that in turn affects the other portions because then I get sick and can't participate in my own life.

The portion of my life that I call entirely my own is such a small tiny tiny percentage of what I'm doing on any given day. Usually squeezed in at the end, when I'm tired.

By the way, all you accomplished, incredibly successful people at 30… I hate you.

I've been picking up Chance from school and bringing him home for lunch everyday for the last couple of weeks.  It seemed like all his meltdowns or misbehavior incidences at school were happening at lunch or right after. The cafeteria is just too fucking loud.  We'd discussed setting up some sort of break for him after lunch at school, but things came to a head and I decided having lunch at home would be his break. And it does seem to be helping; he goes back for the afternoon much calmer. 

But now I have a really odd schedule.  

It would be fine if I was happy with just the mommy track, but there are other things I'm trying to do.  Our world is not set up to support moms who are trying to do anything other than be moms.  Being a "good" mom (patronizing head pat, please) means you get screwed.

yay!